Because I Tried
by Vacarria
Summary: Itsuka Shido managed it. He finally did the impossible and in so doing, do the impossible. He was at the verge of the last date, his goal to seal the First Spirit and put an end to this feud. But before that, he had met a strange fellow that told him a tale of how his work crumbled to ashes. [Volume 19 Spoilers] [Oneshot]


Itsuka Shido sighed.

His heart pounded furiously, looking at the watch under his thick brown coat. He wore his winter clothes, a fog forming from his mouth as he exhaled. The surrounding was cold as everyone anticipated, his body shivering from the coming breeze. He gritted his teeth, before going back to his thoughts.

He was going to end it.

He was going to seal Reine-

No, Mio.

Once and for all.

He took a bullet just to go back to the past, thanks to Kurumi's ability that he had sealed from that prank kiss. Ironic that a prank would be his saving grace from his own downfall. A downfall that was created solely by the pure coincidences from the First Spirit herself, as everything was plotted by her.

Everyone died for this very moment from the future. And he won't let that happen again.

He stood there at their waiting point, looking at his watch again as he narrowed his eyes. Rein- Mio wasn't one to be late, considering that she was the hardworking out of all the crew in Fraxinus, aside from Kotori, his dear sister. Those darkened bags under her eyes were no joke at all, considering that she had to do all the work by herself.

And all the pain from sleeping with nightmares.

He remembered his talk with every Spirit, and his visit to get Kurumi's assistance. It was all going to plan, aside from the wildcard that was DEM. No, they were truly an adversary to begin with, as Isaac himself wielded the inverse angel Beelzebub with zealous greed and savagery. He scoffed, considering that he still had to wait until tomorrow's dawn for their all-out war.

"Hey, you."

Right, he was going to end it.

"Kiddo."

Going to end it.

"Hey, you deaf?"

He turned around in irritation, only to see a man sitting on a wooden bench besides their meeting point. He was surprised to see that there was a person there at all, considering that Fraxinus had already stated that he was the only one in the plaza as of now. He shook his head, as the man himself continued.

"Finally, you listened," he patted on the bench, "How about you sit? Standing in the cold isn't going to help you."

He nodded, sitting beside the person as he looked at him with a solemn smile. Despite the cold, he was wearing nothing but a sleeved shirt and a pair of slacks, his blue sneakers tapping the concrete. He had darkened bags on his eyes, his scraggly brown hair showing his rather indigent posture.

"Don't mind me," he waved, "Just tired. Took a stroll to get some fresh air and decided to rest here."

"Funny, since I'm also tired," Shido replied, "I'm having my problems that kept me up all night."

"You? Problems?" He scoffed, "Now you're just flexing on me, kiddo. I should be the one having a crisis here. Not you."

"It's… just that I have to deal with a date."

"Oh," he smirked, "Wonder that you're tired. Thinking of her, right?"

He nodded, "I'm already experienced with this, but I'm always flustered either way."

"Just like always."

Shido raised his brow, gazing at him as he shook his head, "Nothing. Reminded me of something. Besides, it's just a date, right? Why are you that nervous that you didn't sleep?"

Shido shook his head. The man himself didn't know that the date he was on was more important than a normal one. However, he kept it to himself, and replied hastily.

"It's… been a long time since we've done this," he sighed, "Work made us stay apart."

"No wonder," the stranger scratched his chin, "I've had experience with that as well. You know your economics, right?"

"Uh, sorry?"

"There's a saying that I remember from a friend," he straightened up, writing a box in the thin air with his finger, "It might be odd, but he illustrated how romance works just like how a consumer behaves."

"How so?"

"There are three stages in that behavior. First stage is when you take the first bite, and you interest increasing along. Your total satisfaction increases with it."

He split that box to thirds, "Then, we have the second stage. Your total satisfaction increases, but your interest decreases. That first stage ends when your interest is at its peak."

He nodded his head, before his lips formed a frown.

"Last is the third stage. The saddest stage of them all."

"It's where my interest declines, right?"

"Exactly," the stranger pointed at him, raising his finger, "The third stage starts when your total satisfaction is at its peak, and when your interest declines to a negative state. At that point, there's no other point other than to break up."

"That's… kind of generalized. And so wrong," Shido raised his brow at the stranger, before he chuckled.

"That's how it works, kiddo," the stranger raised his hand, "It's like eating fries. There's a point that we'll be sick of eating those delicious things."

"Then, how am I going to be happy with that?"

"That's the thing," the man replied, "Your goal is to prolong that second stage. You wonder why a lot of people still eat fries that it even breaks that consumer law, even if it is not?"

"Because they still like it so much?"

"Exactly!" He nodded, "That's how you do it. Even though that's theoretical. I mean, aren't there exes that decided to go back to their former ones?"

"True," Shido nodded, "It's kinda odd that you stated that love acts like that."

"You will when you marry that girl," Shido blushed, "Responsibilities and all. In the end, a story's gotta end one way or another. Isn't that how a story works?"

"I guess so," Shido frowned, "There are people that decide to just end a story rather early. I'm surprised that there are some that still go on, but the concept isn't there anymore."

He shook his head, "It feels… all too sad."

"Because no matter what you do, it will always be like that," the stranger stated, "Second law of thermodynamics. Nothing ever stays the same."

"But, you still can believe in miracles, right?"

"If only you knew how much I wanted to see those miracles," he frowned, shaking his head, "I'm sorry. I'm still star-struck as of now. I have my own problems."

"Like?"

The stranger scoffed, "You want to hear my story?"

"I mean," Shido looked at his watch, "I guess there's still time for me to listen. Not like she's going to appear right now."

"True," the stranger nodded, "now… where should I start?"

He sighed, "I'm so… damnit, I just…"

His head drooped, "It's so hard just trying. You ever tried to give up, kiddo?"

Shido shook his head.

Never in his life did he try to give up. He knew how much he did just to reach this point. He even knew how much Kurumi had wasted her own power just to save him for countless of times. He knew how much had already placed in his shoulders, a burden that he knew that he should end on his own.

"No," Shido shook his head, "Whenever I think of that, I always think of other people. If I give up, how would that help them? I just can't see myself going down that road after what I've been through."

"I see," he sighed, "I just don't see a point in trying anymore."

Shido gazed at him, his lips turning to a sad one, "I've done so much but it still ended up in a disaster. It's heart-wrecking to see your work just crumble to ashes."

"What work?"

"A novel," he nodded slowly, reminiscing, "A light novel, exactly."

"So, you're a writer?" Shido smiled, "Funny, I know someone who could like you, given if you tell me what your work is."

"I'm surprised that even a lot of people read it," he clicked his tongue, "It all started off from just one idea."

"I don't really see a point in abandoning that, don't you think?" Shido slumped on the desk, "How long have you worked on it?"

"7 years now," his eyes looked elsewhere, "I'm surprised to see how much I've been through."

"7 years?" He said with surprise, "What makes you give up on that? I mean, you've worked so much on it."

"There are things that you don't expect in life," he pointed at himself, "Look at me. I can't just whistle that away. I made a lot of mistakes in that light novel that… would just ruin it entirely."

"I don't think I get you from that-"

"I can't save the main hero."

"Sorry?"

Shido looked at him, his eyes on the ground as he bit his lip.

"There's… so many twists and holes that the hero would just die," he pointed out, before raising his index finger at him, "And don't get me started about how I can't. It's just that I view everything in a logical standpoint."

"I see. But you can retroactively change something entirely, right?"

He shook his head, crossing his arms, "If I did that, then the story wouldn't make sense anymore. Just a linear line of everything happening. You like that?"

"After everything?" Shido shivered, "I guess I do."

"You're the first person I've ever heard to like something that boring," he looked at him with curiosity, "Why so?"

"…Experience. I just want it to be as fine rather than complicated."

"That's it, huh?" He scoffed, "I wish my story's like that, too."

"Anyway, can I suggest something?"

"I take suggestions any day."

"But I have to know what's the problem. I mean, the main hero dying logically lacks context. Why did he die in the first place?"

The stranger bit his nail, "That's a tough cookie to say."

"I can't help if you don't say, right?"

"Okay then," the stranger huffed, "Seriously, I already told you the problem. It's just that I made so many loopholes that I can't-"

"Then what about making the hero able to go back?" Shido said strictly to him, "Uh, I mean, wouldn't that be easy?"

"Then again, the story's… a fantasy type," the stranger nodded, before his eyes narrowed, "Then there's another problem. The villain. He's telepathic in some way."

"Then go back in time. I mean, he wouldn't know that you went back in time until you meet him again, right?"

"…So your answer to everything is using Control plus Z?"

Shido scratched his head, "Hey, I like being able to redo my mistakes."

The stranger stared at him blankly, before looking away, "I guess that could solve everything. I guess I have an idea now."

He smiled bleakly, nodding slowly, "Thank you for giving me that idea. But to be fair, I did think of that before."

Shido raised his brow, "Then why wouldn't you do that?"

"I just didn't that it would work that well," the stranger scoffed, "Say, you speak like you've experience that kind of stuff."

"Oh, me?" The teenager crossed his arms, "You'd think something like that can happen? Besides, I do dream of being able to just correct my mistakes."

"Same," the stranger looked away, noticing a figure coming, "Isn't that… your date?"

Shido looked at the direction he was gazing, only to see her coming towards him.

"Yeah, it's her," he looked at his watch, "On time, too."

"You've got a beautiful girl on your hands," he complimented, "Make sure you don't do anything stupid just to lose her."

"I won't," he nodded proudly at the stranger, "I already know a way to get her heart."

"You make it sound like it's your first date with her."

He scratched his head in realization, "I guess so. Anyway, thanks for the chat. Maybe I helped, somewhat."

"Well, at least I have some confidence now," the stranger closed his eyes, "I have to thank you for reminding me."

"A pleasure."

He started to walk towards Reine, only for him to turn around as he raised his voice.

"Anyway, I… didn't get your name," Shido looked at the stranger.

"Koshi," he said softly, "Tachibana Koshi. Yours?"

"Itsuka Shido."

"Good luck then," the stranger nodded, "I'll be here for a while. You, meanwhile, have to deal with her. Your war with her starts now."

Shido raised his brow, somewhat reminiscent of what he said, "…I'm sorry?"

"Your date with her starts now. You deaf?" He clicked his tongue at the approaching beauty, "And look. You should go now."

"I-I'm sorry," he bowed, "I guess we'll have to meet again, right?"

"Until I finish this volume. From then, I'll wait."

He waved goodbye at Shido, looking at the couple as they drifted away from his sight. His smile turned to a frown, looking away in disappointment. He stared at the two again, as they entered a taxi cab that drove away from the plaza, leaving him alone to look away and ponder on his position.

He shook his head.

"No matter how much I try. You'd still die anyway. I made everyone a monster that I didn't expect."

He clenched his fist.

"I always had to make you go back in time, but it didn't even work. Westcott would always know what the fuck you do."

He chuckled, his eyes streaming with tears.

"Funny," he snorted, "I'm the creator of this story, but whenever I try to give you a happy ending, it just changes suddenly with you dying in it. I even tried to write on another computer, but it would just automatically write the worst ending on its own. I even made you go back way too much, to the point you'd stop the First Spirit, but it still end up like a disaster."

He shook his head, as he noticed his body fleeting away.

"I'm sorry, Shido. I tried my best. I hope you understand."

His body disappeared entirely.

As he cried in front of his computer. Unable to do anything at all.


End file.
